2020-12-23

The Social Pressure To Fit In!

Published by - Muhsin Musthafa

When it comes to lead a positive life, acceptance is the key. It includes accepting oneself as well as others. Granted, we don’t feel lovable at times. There is always this pressure to be accepted by others. Sometimes we please people, to receive approval from others. So, without even realizing, we would change desire and mould ourselves, that leads to a life of sacrificing oneself at the expense of our own.
There is always a gap between what we want to be and what we think the world thinks we should be. Everybody tries to fit in because they desperately want to feel home wherever they are. The hard reality is that we will never fit in where you don’t belong how much ever we manipulate ourselves.
With this arises the issue of being insecure about self or issue of self-esteem. We live in a world surrounded by ideals. Society represents a better version of everything, which creates a mindset that we should be striving for more than what we have. We feel uncomfortable with our skin, body, talent and much more. Rich want to be richer, light-toned wish to be lighter. Thus, we start comparing our life to others. And once this expectation doesn’t meet reality, it leads to inner conflicts which in turn leads to self-hatred. Loving yourself as to how we are is not that easy, but if you are, much applaud to you. When we love the way we are, we take control of our lives, and we start feeling better about oneself. And when we feel better, we enjoy and this, in turn, brings happiness. Thus, self-esteem has an important role and a significant impact on how we perceive ourselves in how we want to be. It helps to focus on the positive aspects of life. People with low self-esteem tend to think more negatively. This makes it hard to accept oneself as how you are and thus cringe.
Here are some signs of low self-esteem :
● Social withdrawal
● Affective instability
● Intrapersonal and interpersonal issues
● Feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, dissatisfied
● Suicidality
● Fear of failure
● Often negative thoughts
● Depression
● Constant check on oneself
● physical symptoms like insomnia, headaches
The point is, we all are different, and there is nothing wrong in the way you are. If at any point, you feel that you are not happy, with a little amount of work on thought patterns and habits you can be on track.
● Take a moment to consider your strength and be clear on your core values.
● Keep a gratitude journal and list down all the positive things and the things you are happy about in your life so that you can stop comparing yourself with others.
● List down things that you would want to change in your life and work to come in terms with it rather than clinging to the past.
● Develop relations with people who value and respect you just as you are so that they will communicate your flaws more constructively.
● If you feel you need help, reach out to a therapist who will help you to understand your existing schemas and inner conflicts. It will help you in developing a better way of understanding and changing your thought patterns.
Changing the way you perceive yourself and feel about is not easy. It requires little effort, time and patience. It is not easy to be a goat in a world full of sheep. It is all about being true to yourself.

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